9.Christmas Dan

Strutting around in this lonesome town, he's got his own holiday
His pedals down in his old Trans Am that he turned into a sleigh

He wears an earring made from candy canes, eats cookies straight
from the pan
So sit right back let's hear the tale of a man called Christmas
Dan

The kids hang swing-sets from his beard and use his belly as a
trampoline
And Dan knows every single word to the Chipmunks Family

He finds all the lonely - lost snowballs and turns em into big
snow men
So sit right back let's hear the tale of a man called Christmas
Dan

(One Winter night, it snowed way, way too long)
(But Dan dug out the entire town and decorated everybody's lawn)

He's wading his way through the wrapping paper all the way up to
his knees
His hair looks just like shiny tinsel hanging from an old
Christmas tree

He can start a fire in your fireplace, just from a single wink
And the only stocks he's worried about are hanging from his
chimney

Dan eats chocolate from the calendar, right before he falls to
sleep
And uses cinnamon as deodorant, and garland to floss his teeth

He runs around the town caroling and shaking everybody's hands
And now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan
And now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan
I said now everybody knows the tale of a man called Xmas Dan